THE NOT SO SURPRISING BENEFITS OF FAMILY DINNERS

I recently came across an online article from the Niagara Falls Review on the benefits of family dinners. This short piece titled, The Surprising Health Benefits of Family Dinners, reported that "the benefits of family dinners are astounding researchers with results they didn't expect."

Dianne Neumark-Sztainer, an investigator with the School of Public Health at the University of Minnesota, found that kids who ate dinner with family members were healthier in a number of ways. Not only was their nutrition better, but they also had a lower incidence of smoking, drinking, and marijuana use. And they also had lower rates of depression.

Merryl Bear, Director of the National Eating Disorder Information Centre, www.nedic.ca, said, "Eating disorders are not really about food, and family meals are also not about food, but connection." As she explains, time together helps children feel emotionally connected to family members, and also helps parents become more aware of what's happening in their kids' lives.

For me, there are no surprises here. Children, on their journey to adulthood, face many challenges. While they want to become independent and increasingly in control of their own lives, they still need the emotional support of mom and dad. Kids, at all ages, need to feel unconditional parental love. They need guidance and they need to know that even if they make bad choices, mom and dad will be there for them.

While a loving, caring and respectful relationship is ideally developed in infancy, it must be nurtured and  maintained throughout childhood. When combined with a grounding in moral values and solid decision-making skills, it helps provide children with resilience and strength of character... qualities they need to resist temptations and peer pressure which become particularly strong during the teenage years.

This all-important relationship requires continual reinforcement. Reinforcement is not accomplished by providing designer clothes, the latest electronics, gifts of money, cars, and the like... it requires a greater and more precious gift... the gift of time.

Unfortunately, in the "hustle and bustle" hectic world of today, many parents just never seem to be able to find enough time for their kids. And the time that is kid related is often superficial. Dropping Johnny off at soccer and taking Lindsey to gymnastics are of little value in the loving relationship department. "Quality time" is needed.

"Quality time" is often misunderstood. It's really not complicated. It is simply the time when parents  can communicate love and respect... through words, expression, touch and deeds. Showing sincere interest and doing things together... jobs around the house, projects, going to events, recreation and sports... even   helping with homework, can all be great relationship builders. And quality time can be as simple as sharing the events  of the day while having a nice family dinner together!

While getting everyone together for dinner may require some creative rescheduling, it is well worth the effort... even two or three times a week can have a positive impact.

Bernard Schencker