I recently heard of a Little League group for 11-12 year olds that was committed to having all the teams finish the season at an approximately .500 average win/loss record. Now I know that a lot of kids' sports programs give out trophies to everyone for just showing up, but going a whole season with no winners and no losers is new to me.
I guess it's part of the same overprotection trend that has infected our country in recent years, so I shouldn't be too surprised. But darn it all...I don't like it...not one bit!
Parents who overprotect {or who don't scream out in opposition to schools and sports organizations that do} are making a HUGE MISTAKE. In their efforts to protect their kids from all disappointments, from all unhappiness and all manner of physical "booboos," moms and dads are creating a totally unreal "la la land" that promotes mediocrity.
While it's important for parents to be positive and encouraging in order to enhance self-esteem and build confidence, PRAISE AND REWARDS MUST BE EARNED AND DESERVED. Kids need to learn to strive for achievement, for excellence and yes, when competing, for winning.
Getting rewarded for just "breathing"{ which is almost no exaggeration} contributes to incompetence, diminishes ambition and destroys the self-esteem that parents mistakenly think they are supporting. And without real challenges children are robbed of the confidence-building joy inherent in real achievement.
Adults, who learned as children that simply "showing up" deserves a reward, will expect a paycheck and a promotion for no effort. They will never quite understand why they seem to be unable to get ahead...why they're passed over and why they "get no respect." Being totally unaware of the damage done to their psyches in childhood, these unfortunates will gripe, complain and blame everyone and everything for their misfortune. And ultimately they will look to the government to support them and give them their "just due."
Bernard Schencker
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